kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
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I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
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Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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