I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize