I am midnight drunk by noon
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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