worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
