My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
