she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize