This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
