Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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