Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
