I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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