U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
