I'm gonna have a badass scar
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
