Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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