i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
