Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
