You smell like a Billy Joel song
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize
