Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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