did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
