Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.