My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.