dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
