When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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