The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
tell me about the eggs
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize