i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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