she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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