Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
