Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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