What a fucking waste of an outfit
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
