did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
