hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Randomize
