im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
