it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
