Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
