Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
They have beer where we have blood.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
