Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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