Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
