Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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