I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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