Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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