bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
