Me too!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
