Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize