we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
