I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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