Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
