I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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