when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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