Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize