stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
