Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize