i used baking grease as lip gloss
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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