I feel great
I just peed on a car
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
