i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
pop tarts are not kleenex
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
