Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
