Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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