i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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