Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize