better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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