i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
