im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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