How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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