So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
